Vishal had always thought of himself as a loving husband, but over the past few months, his marriage to Shephali had grown increasingly strained. Every small disagreement seemed to spiral into long periods of silence. Shephali’s way of handling conflicts was to withdraw completely, refusing to speak for days. Vishal felt lost every time this happened. His happiness, his mood, even his productivity at work all depended on whether Shephali was talking to him or not.
Whenever Shephali gave him the silent treatment, Vishal would spiral into frustration and despair. He would spend hours trying to figure out what went wrong, blaming himself, and feeling desperate to make things right. If she spoke kindly or smiled at him, his world felt at peace. But the moment she shut down, he was consumed with anxiety. His entire emotional well-being hinged on how she treated him. It was exhausting, and he couldn’t bear it anymore.
One evening, after another tense day of silence from Shephali, Vishal confided in his friend Vineet. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” Vishal said. “Every time she gives me the silent treatment, I feel like I lose control of my life. My whole day is ruined.”
Vineet, seeing how drained Vishal was, suggested something unexpected. “Why don’t you try a mindfulness workshop? It might help you deal with your emotions better.”
Though sceptical at first, Vishal decided to give it a try. At the workshop, the instructor’s words resonated deeply with him: “Linking your feelings to another person’s actions means giving away your power. You can’t control what others do, but you can always control how you respond.”
Vishal realized that he had been tying his emotional well-being entirely to Shephali’s reactions. If she was upset, he was upset. If she was happy, he was happy. He had been giving her actions complete power over his own feelings, and it was destroying his peace.
Determined to change, Vishal began practicing mindfulness. He started focusing on his own emotions and learned to separate them from Shephali’s behaviour. When Shephali became distant or silent, instead of reacting with frustration, Vishal reminded himself that he didn’t need to mirror her emotions. He could choose to stay calm and centred.
At first, Shephali didn’t notice the change. But gradually, she began to sense something different in Vishal. When she pulled away into silence, instead of Vishal pushing her to talk or getting visibly upset, he remained calm and patient. He didn’t pressure her, and he didn’t let her silence ruin his mood. This calmness confused Shephali at first, but over time, it started to affect her.
One evening, after a minor argument, Shephali once again withdrew into silence. But instead of following his old pattern of getting upset, Vishal went about his evening calmly. He quietly cooked dinner, reading a book in the living room without showing signs of frustration or anxiety. Shephali, watching him from a distance, started to feel uneasy. She had expected the usual reactions—Vishal pleading with her to talk, getting upset, or retreating into his own shell. But this time, there was none of that.
After a while, Shephali felt compelled to approach him. “You’re not angry?” she asked, breaking her own silence.
Vishal smiled gently. “I’m not angry. I’ve learned that I don’t need to let every disagreement control how I feel. I can choose to be calm, and we can talk whenever you’re ready.”
Shephali, caught off guard by his response, softened. She realized that Vishal’s calmness had taken away the power of her silence. His emotional independence made her rethink her own behaviour. Slowly, she began to reflect on how her silent treatments had been pushing him away, and how his newfound stability made her feel safe to open up rather than withdraw.
Over the following weeks, the dynamic between them changed. Whenever there was tension, Vishal stayed composed, no longer chasing after Shephali’s approval or feeling devastated by her reactions. Shephali, in turn, found herself opening up more quickly. The pressure she used to feel from Vishal’s emotional dependency was gone, and instead of seeing him as a source of conflict, she began to see him as a source of calm.
One evening, after a heartfelt conversation, Shephali admitted, “I’ve been using silence to punish you. But now, I feel like I don’t need to do that anymore. Your calmness has made me feel more at peace.”
Vishal’s transformation gave Shephali the space to reflect and change her own behaviour. As he stopped reacting to her moods, she no longer felt the need to control the situation through silence. Their relationship, once filled with tension, began to heal. They communicated more openly, and both found a new sense of stability.
By detaching his emotions from Shephali’s behaviour, Vishal
not only regained control over his own life but also helped Shephali grow
emotionally. Together, they discovered that true stability came from within.